Time out

Feb. 4th, 2026 05:26 am
vriddy: Two cups of coffee on a tray (friendship)
[personal profile] vriddy

Going on a Discord time-out for a few days (longer would probably be better, but let's start where we can). My skull feels like a hedgehog turned inside out with all the spikes drilling into my brain lately, and synchronous conversations (or even just the possibility of it) are like electric shocks running up and down the spikes.

I don't know why I'm always working so hard to find metaphors that probably only make sense to me. "And today's headache is... drilling into my brain through the temple! ...cerebellum massage with boxing gloves...!"

....I actually didn't know this bit was called cerebellum hahaha I thought it was the amygdala. Nothing like looking at diagrams of brain slices in the morning.

I wanted to post a book rec so it's not all eldritch hedgehogs and brains, but the BuJo with the rec I was thinking of is out of reach... Hm. Here are a couple of other books I enjoyed more recently though!

  • August Kitko and the mechas from space, by Alex White. With its bright pink cover, you know it's going to be as crazy as the title suggest, and it was a ton of fun! With mechas! From space!! Haha. Crack treated seriously at its finest. Fun premise, set a few hundreds years in the future, and written so well. Loved that one of the MCs was a bisexual dude and the second MC/love interest is nb with they/them pronouns. Not plot relevant, it just is. Great space opera overall.
  • A Darker Shade of Magic, by VE Schwab, which I got from a rec here (I mean I get like 90% of my book recs from my Dreamwidth reading page at this point I believe :D Thank you all!). Wonderful worldbuilding, wonderful writing, great characters. Great concepts, used really well. The kind of books that makes me want to write. I'm impatiently waiting for my library hold on the second one to be released!!

To quieter brains and asynchronous conversations! \o/ Please be patient with me if you expect a reply from me on discord. Or Dreamwidth, for that matter. My inbox is not quite empty yet but I'll get there, in time :D <3

ysabetwordsmith: (Fly Free)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is today's freebie. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] elinox. It also fills the "Breaking the Rules" square in my 2-1-26 card for the Valentines Bingo fest.

Read more... )
mistressofmuses: Image of nebulae in the colors of the bi pride flag: pink, purple, and blue (Default)
[personal profile] mistressofmuses


From Aspenhearted's "Just Say No" campaign. The "It's not happening" cappybara was was the vibe for the week. Little did I know just how much.

Ah, the before times. Before I know that my appendix was trying to murder me. I can't really say much about the week as a whole; it was fine, up until the last couple of days where it turns out I was quite vindicated in feeling like I was dying. Work felt rough the whole week, but was actually fine. Got a decent amount of reading done. It was brief, but I even got some writing done.

Goals for the week:

  • I did finish reading Ninth House
  • I did not have my year-end review at work; we kept running out of time
  • I did not do my plant care
  • We did get the truck seat covers put on
  • I did post about my writing goals for the month
  • I did not update my reading page
  • I did work on my reviews
  • I did work on my WIP outline
  • We did go get crickets
  • I did stop by my mom's house
  • I started reading What Feasts at Night

My tracked habits:

  • Work - 5/7
  • Household Maintenance - 3/7
  • Physical Activity - 1/7
  • Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 2/7, both over 500 words
  • Non-fiction Writing - 2/7, one day over 500, one day over 1000
  • Meta Work - 6/7
  • Personal Writing - 6/7
  • Other Creative Things - 0/7
  • Reading - 7/7 - I finished Ninth House and started What Feasts at Night; Alex and I read some of The Sun Dog.
  • Attention to Media - 7/7 - Sunday had on some news coverage; Monday had youtube in the background and later watched some reviews; Tuesday we went to see The Housemaid, and later watched news coverage; Wednesday watched news coverage, storm chasing, and a review; Thursday, more news coverage of protests; Friday had more news in background; Saturday we had something in the background, but I don't remember what.
  • Video Games - 0/7
  • Social Interaction - 6/7

Total words written: 3391 words; 2211 on non-fic goals and a review, 1180 on my current WIP outline

ashelterofpages: (made of tiny stories)
[personal profile] ashelterofpages
So, one of the things I really, really like hearing about is how people keep track of things/how they organize themselves. (Hearing people talk about how they use spreadsheets gives me the good brain tingles. XD) The other day, I asked [profile] jennet about the things she tracks in regards to her writing/reading, and then [personal profile] wearing_tearing asked me about mine.

I was going to answer them in a comment, but I thought it might be fun to talk about the whole mess of it.

So, I'm going to start with reading because that's much shorter than writing.

This feels brief and yet somehow overly complicated.
Basically, I primarily read short stories. Like, to the point where I read a single digit amount of anything longer than 10k. Part of this is because it's the length I write in but part of it is that I just really enjoy reading shorter things. I also pivoted a lot when as my vision got worse and worse. Even when I started doing primarily audio reading, I read much more short fiction than long.

Anyway, so what I wind up doing with this is that I have a tab stack where I pull up things and store them. I do a new stack each month. Literally anything fictional I want to read goes in that stack. As I read them, I save them to a bookmarks folder that's labeled with the year and the month that's then filed under 'Monthly Read Archive'. I'll do the same thing with the stories I don't get to either and put them into 'Monthly Unread Archive'. I like having them saved so I can go back through the year and pick stuff out when nothing I have pulled up is grabbing my attention.

When it comes to stories I really enjoy and might want to read again, I have a file where I save the story title, author, where I read it, and a link to the story. I then also write a little off-the-cuff review for it and save all that. Not only do I do this for my own reference, but I use all this for when I'm writing the newsletter I mentioned a few posts back.

I want to find a way to do some better archiving for stories I maybe read and liked, but don't feel like I want to shout about. With the bookmarks folder, I save *everything* I want to read, but it'd be cool to have a way to glance through just the things I really liked, but maybe didn't love or have things to say about it.


My writing stuff is a little more involved.

God, this is so much longer.
Things to know:
- I (at this point) exclusively write original fiction. I cut my teeth in fanfic and love it, but I fell out of writing it years ago. (I do, however, have the 3SF pulled up, so who knows what might happen. >.>)
- I write short fiction for submission (most of the time).
- I use multiple spreadsheets but you could probably knock these down to a single one if you're building your own. I, however, am not that talented.
- You can also probably use spreadsheets for *everything* I track, but I don't quite get there.

So, okay, with all that in mind, here we go.

I'll start with the part that's not in a spreadsheet. What that winds up being is maintaining a list of submission calls that are coming up through the year. This is a living document so I'm updating it when I run into interesting things, and clearing out things if I miss the deadline, decide I'm not going to actually submit, or did manage to get a story in.

I have a section for each month of the year, as well as a section for things that are opening for multiple months. If a venue opens multiple times a year, each opening gets its own entry.

In every entry I include:
- Opening and closing dates.
- A link to the submission itself with a title that mentions the venue itself
- The general theme/vibe that they're looking for
- Wordcount.
- Sometimes I include payrate but I don't do this all the time because it's not always important to me.
If something has multiple categories, I'll make a new entry for each one. So, one for fiction, one for poetry for example.

If I have an idea for a story that might work, or one I want to try and get into shape, I note down that story in a bullet point. If there are multiple possibilities, I put them all down.

So, that's part of it.

Everything else lives in spreadsheets.

Speaking of, I have:
- The new draft wordcount spreadsheet is what it says on the tin.
- The edited draft wordcount spreadsheet is also what it says on the tin. I like having these two counts separate because they're different kinds of mindsets, and 100 fresh words is very different feeling than 100 edited words.
- My GYWO habit tracker.

- The story notes tracking sheet is it's own thing.
In this one I have a few sections. First is the date, then the designation/title, the word count (and I mark if I did edits or new words), my overall mood as I was writing/how I felt when I finished, the things that went well/easily for me, the things that I struggled more with, and finally just a section for random notes. I use these for whatever I feel like. Being excited, talking about what I'm going to do next with it, random commentary about my characters being ridiculous. Anything goes for the notes section.

Each month gets a new page in the overall spreadsheet until I get through the whole year, then I make a whole new one.

And finally, I just have the "Full Story Tracking" collection. One day I'll name this something better or...something. It's not a great label for it, but I know what's in it, so I guess that's what matters most.

This one has a few separate sheets inside it.
- The stories themselves.:
This one holds all the stories I've written. WIPs, finished, published, or still submitting. On this sheet I have sections for story title, wordcount, whether it's finished or not, how many times it's been rejected, where it's been accepted, how much I got paid for it, and some kind of link to it. In the section where I mark down the number of rejections, I make a comment and list out exactly where those have come from so I'm sure I don't resubmit, or if I do, it's been several years and I know the story is significantly different than the last time they saw it.

- Yearly Submissions.
Each year I make a new sheet for noting down the actual story submissions. Here, I write down the story being submitted, the venue it's at, the day it got submitted, the day I heard back, and whether it was accepted or rejected. Something I keep meaning to add into this section is if the story can be submitted to multiple places at once (some venues want to be the only place looking at the story), but I keep forgetting to do that.

- And this last sheet is just my yearly stats
Each year has a row to itself and the columns are year, total submissions made, new submission stories written, new poems written (this is more hoping for the future than anything), new for-fun stories written (I try and have a healthy mix of Serious Writing and silly things that might involve characters in my RP or something), the total number of rejections, the total number of acceptances, the total number of hold notices, and finally, the total number of personal rejections.


So yeah, that's all of it I think. Are there more elegant ways of tracking all this? Oh, I have zero doubt. One day I might even let myself take out the two wordcount spreadsheets and just use my GYWO one and mark in there whether the words are new words or edited ones. Yet, this is how I've managed to scrape things together. It works well enough for me, and I guess that's what matters, right?

Breakfast Plans

Feb. 3rd, 2026 09:08 pm
dialecticdreamer: My work (Default)
[personal profile] dialecticdreamer
Breakfast Plans
By Dialecticdreamer/Sarah Williams
Part 1b of 1
Word count (story only): 1079
[Wednesday, May 13, 2020, 6 am]


:: After a very long day, the Teagues and Amber try to start afresh. Part of the Edison’s Mirror (Teague Family) story arc. ::




Vic nodded. “But, that’s at eleven. What are we going to do for the next… four hours and change?” He grinned at Mac. “We can’t eat breakfasts like Hobbits do, or we’d be wider than we are tall by bedtime tonight!”

Ed cleared his throat. “There’s something… We should talk about. It’s not bad, but it’s… complicated. I didn’t intend to go behind anybody’s back, but… Well, I found out I was right, and that made me feel like I’d done something sneaky by leaving you two out of the loop.”
Read more... )

tea review: peach

Feb. 3rd, 2026 03:52 pm
spiralicious: heart shaped tea cup (<3 tea)
[personal profile] spiralicious
Tea Month 2026: Tea 9

Tea Review
Name: Peach
Brand: Stash
Type: black
Tea bag

Notes:
This was a gift. Thank you. It's a really nice blend of black tea. While the peach smell is really strong (and pleasant), the peach flavor is very subtle. I really enjoyed it.

Rate
Appearance: 9
Aroma: 9
Flavor: 9

Overall Rating: 4 stars

2026 Snowflake Challenge #6

Feb. 3rd, 2026 02:09 pm
spiralicious: Cereal Killer Mask (Default)
[personal profile] spiralicious
Challenge #6

Top 10 Challenge.

The category(ies) you choose are up to you. You can give top 10 Fics you read last year, the top 10 songs to create to, the to 10 guest stars on your favorite show, top 10 characters in your favorite book series, top 10... well, you get the idea.


I love lists and decided to be a bit extra, so here are my top 10, top 10 lists (in no particular order):

1. My 2025 Top Fandoms
2. Songs of 2025
3. Glimmers of the Last 90ish days
4. Fall Out Boy Songs I Listen to on a Near Daily Basis
5. Favorite Library Programs
6. Foods of 2025
7. Movies of 2025
8. TV Series Rewatches of 2025
9. Favorite Nonfiction Books
10. Hobbies to Try

Read more... )

Snowflake Challenge: A close up shot of an owl ornament hanging amidst pine boughs..

Picnic Under the Stars

Feb. 3rd, 2026 03:57 pm
orangeblossomteas: (Default)
[personal profile] orangeblossomteas
Figured I might as well post this here since I didn't manage to write anything else for the event.

Rating: G
Characters: Jounouchi Katsuya
Word Count: 212 (AO3 says 199 and I have no idea why)
Event/Prompt: Jounuary 2026/Week 1 - Stars

Read more... )

(no subject)

Feb. 3rd, 2026 08:13 pm
diva_samodiva: (Default)
[personal profile] diva_samodiva
 today's motto: stress eating a week's worth of cals 

Poetry Fishbowl Open!

Feb. 3rd, 2026 01:01 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The Poetry Fishbowl is now CLOSED. Thank you for your time and attention. Please keep an eye on this page as I am still writing.

Starting now, the Poetry Fishbowl is open! Today's theme is "Books and Literacy." I will be checking this page periodically throughout the day. When people make suggestions, I'll pick some and weave them together into a poem ... and then another ... and so on. I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas and a lot of poems.

I'll be soliciting ideas for readers, writers, storytellers, scribes, editors, publishers, students, teachers, caregivers, children, parents, bookworms, nerds, bookstore owners, librarians, an anonymous benefactor, activists, volunteers, superheroes, supervillains, other bookish people, reading, writing, delighting the reader, editing, publishing, bookbinding, shopping for books, telling stories, teaching, inviting students to a lesson, demonstrating tools, educating the whole child, learning, studying, parenting, lending a hand, cooperating, concentrating on a current task, volunteering, supporting people in hard times, respecting people, modeling manners and skills, learning to trust others, observing the environment, engaging all the senses, cultivating a full life, creating intimacy, making friends, getting to know each other, cooking together, choosing your own goals, discovering things, improvising, adapting, cooperating, bartering, sharing, making mistakes, fixing what's broke, changing the world, accomplishing the impossible, other educational activities, books, scrolls, magical tomes, printing presses, pens and pencils, bookstores, libraries, Little Free Libraries, book nooks, windowseats, Montessori schools, other alternative schools, preschools or daycares, Montessori homeschool, prepared environment, colleges and universities, beautiful places, craft centers, community centers, coffeehouses, outdoor classrooms, parks, nature centers, other spaces designed for learning, Triton Teen Centers, mentor circles, intentional communities, clubs, quiet rooms, inclusive workplaces, Thalassia, the Maldives, the Lacuna, the Aqademy of the Qrossroads, Waldorf toys, Montessori materials, intrinsic motivation, child independence, respect for the child, freedom to choose, freedom of time and uninterrupted work periods, absorbent mind, post-traumatic growth, individualized education, three-part cards, language lessons, mathematics, diverse ages and abilities, self-correcting toys and lessons, natural consequences, freedom of movement, intentional neighboring, diversity, inclusivity, emotional closeness, nonsexual intimacies, first contact, rescue, interspecies relationships, trial and error, trust issues, teamwork, found family, complementary strengths and weaknesses, personal growth, and poetic forms in particular.


Currently eligible bingo card(s) for donors wishing to sponsor a square:

Valentines Bingo Card 2-1-26

Among my more relevant series for the main theme:

An Army of One involves education and reading in the Lacuna.

Arts and Crafts America focuses on fine arts and practical crafts, sometimes education. Bookbinding would be a logical craft.

The Bear Tunnels has future books in a past culture.

Daughters of the Apocalypse have to rediscover many historic skills for survival, including earlier methods of sharing knowledge.

Frankenstein's Family has two scientists teaching villagers to be thoughtful instead of stupid, and after a few years, several more people keenly interested in books and education.

Not Quite Kansas started with mishandling a book of spells, and involves trying to learn about a whole new world.

Path of the Paladins includes the Canticle of Thorns and other books.

Peculiar Obligations has Quakers in organized crime. The Religious Society of Friends has been greatly involved in education, including abolitionist and natural science publications.

Polychrome Heroics is largely about people learning things. Threads particularly focused on this include Antimatter and Stalwart Stan, Aquariana, the Big One, Danso and Family, Dr. Infanta, Iron Horses, Officer Pink, Rutledge, and Trichromatic Attachments.

Quixotic Ideas is set in a world with plenty of magic and a positive tone, where people often help each other and solve challenges peacefully. It includes a healthy magical school.

Schrodinger's Heroes save the world from alternate dimensions, and they learn a lot along the way.

Or you can ask for something new.

Linkbacks reveal a verse of any open linkback poem.

New to the fishbowl? Read all about it! )

Drabbles (&More) for a Good Cause

Feb. 3rd, 2026 08:02 am
kalloway: A blond knight from the mobile video game Lord of Heroes (Lord of Heroes Johan)
[personal profile] kalloway
Fuckit, I'm going to do this-

Listen, the world sucks right now. It sucks a lot! But there's also a lot of good and people doing good. If you are out there doing good, I would like to do something for you. It's apparently been like six years since I've managed to put one of these together but here we go:

If you have made a financial contribution to a good cause* between the beginning of 2026 and now, the moment you are reading this, or any point during 2026 thereafter**, I'd like to do something for you.

However, I am fully aware that not everyone can do financial contributions. So if you have volunteered, signed petitions, contacted your representatives***, protested, trained, networked, etc., I would also like to do something for you.

Details Under This Cut )

Comments are screened, PMs open, thank you for being awesome.

*seriously, I'll leave 'good cause' up to you and that can include community arts programs, museums, little pantries, conservation, etc.
**unless I get absolutely buried which would be great but also would make me need to pause things til I caught up a bit
***not just US reps
****we'll sort by category if you claim this, lol, and if I'm working on a project for an event, 'next' means once my desk is available
*****likely either illustrated with terrible doodles or public domain art
halfcactus: an icon of a manga shiba inu (Default)
[personal profile] halfcactus
1.
Boosting some initiatives that my oomfs are involved in:

  • For the rest of the year, Niq (guoldu) is donating 100% of his commission funds to the Portland Immigration Rights Coalition. He does great danmei/baihe-adjacent art (and has incredible range), you can commission him here.

  • ICE OUT Fundraiser: Heated Rivalry fandom fundraiser

  • WangXian Against ICE: MDZS fundraiser (the donation period is over, though)

    2.
    Misc. Links

  • The Sameer Project (Palestinian-led fundraiser): they recently announced that there's been a huge drop in donations in January, causing mutual aid groups to scale back their operations. They're specifically asking for donations toward the food and water campaign.

  • Queer Without Borders | Panorama Film Festival: international short films, free to watch on Youtube!

  • Reports from Unknown Places: short daily fictional reports. Don't you miss blogs? Also on Instagram (where the reports come with pictures/paintings)

  • The Slowdown: a podcast where they feature one poem a day. (I personally just read the transcripts and treat it like a blog.)

  • Yonezawa Yoshihiro On “Yaoi”: Why Did Girls Give Up Ordinary Love for Boys’ Love? (1991) - a translated article that has been rotting in my to-read list.


    3.
    Journaling:
    I have been keeping up with my daily planner but can't be bothered to cross-post pics here... In lieu of 3 weeks' worth of journal spreads, here are some food-y ones instead:
    2 picsjan 10: first groupwatch of the year; the leaves on neighbors’ roofs are now unromantically brown; the cmovie Her Story which i liked a lotjan 11: beef noodle soup, moon shrimp cake, beef floss and salted egg mushroom, from a chinese restaurant
    feb 24: yoga, 青春18X24 which i loved, the snowstorm on the other side of the world (with pics from friends)feb 25: the food and music from the wedding


    Because it's a daily journal and I'm too lazy to print photos (since most of my pictures are of food and the neighborhood egret), I've accidentally gotten a little better at drawing basic shapes, which is... good? It's kind of like getting regular drawing practice but without the pressure of a dedicated sketchbook since the main goal is personal note-taking.
  • The drama of fucking paperwork:

    Feb. 2nd, 2026 11:54 pm
    mistressofmuses: Image of nebulae in the colors of the bi pride flag: pink, purple, and blue (Default)
    [personal profile] mistressofmuses
    So after getting out of the hospital, my primary task was to get medical leave approved.

    Colorado has a fairly generous required leave (called FAMLI), which is intended to allow basically anyone who is employed to take a fairly hefty chunk of time off if required, for their own health issues, to take care of a loved one with health issues, for maternity/paternity leave, etc. I’ve had several coworkers take it; one for paternity leave, one when he was dealing with his father’s failing health and then death, one for neck surgery.

    So I got home on Thursday night, planning to submit my leave application on Friday, so that it was done. My HR department had sent me the information about the company that I would need, and just needed me to submit my application to the state. (When on leave, my company would not be paying me; the state would pay me a percentage of my salary. So I don’t get my full salary for the time that I’m out, but get a portion of it, similar to unemployment wages.)


    Cut for length. Nothing gross, except the horrors of bureaucracy:

    Friday

    I mentioned it in my previous post, but I sat down to get the application filled out and submitted…

    Or I tried to. Three and a half hours later, I had not succeeded. I did not remember which phone number out of a list had once been mine (any phone number other than my childhood phone number and my work phone number is not stored in my brain), and so was told I needed to get a notarized attestation of identity form.

    After some fiddling, I got a different creepy set of questions that I was able to answer, and it no longer asked for the notarized form.

    I hit a dead end at the required medical form, which must be filled out by your healthcare provider. Sometimes this can be done electronically, but the only doctor’s name I had was the surgeon who performed the appendectomy, and she was not listed in their database to send an electronic form to. I would have to print the form and get it signed.

    I called the surgical clinic number, hoping they could tell me if someone would sign this form for me. (I was also supposed to reach out to them to schedule my surgery follow-up, however they warned me they were likely out-of-network, so I might either need to reach out to my PCP to follow up with them instead, or to get a referral for the clinic. This was an issue because I haven’t had a PCP in more than a decade.) I did not get a person on the phone, so left a voicemail. Their voicemail message very aggressively tells you DO NOT CALL MORE THAN ONCE, DO NOT LEAVE MULTIPLE MESSAGES, YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED BY END OF DAY.

    I did not get a call back.

    Saturday

    I did not work on this. I was very tired, and kind of demoralized, and just didn’t feel up to dealing with it.

    Sunday

    I went over to my mom’s to borrow her printer in order to print off the forms I needed to have signed. (Grateful that was an option for me, rather than having to pay to do it somewhere.)

    Not having heard back from the surgery clinic, I headed over to the hospital where my surgery was done. I went back up to the floor where I had stayed post-surgery, hoping maybe one of the nurses I’d had would still be on-duty. The form does prominently say that any licensed healthcare provider - doctors, nurses, midwives, etc. - can sign the form, as long as they have knowledge of the patient and health condition in question.

    The nurse on duty (not one of the ones I’d met) acted like she’d never seen that sort of form before, and sort of scolded me that any forms like this should have been taken care of before I was discharged. (Which… so sorry I didn’t have a computer and printer with me in my hospital room?) She spoke to their “case manager,” who apparently told her that only a medical doctor is allowed to sign it, so I would have to speak to the surgical team in order to get it signed.

    She told me that I should just plan on having it signed at my follow-up appointment two weeks post-surgery… but a) scheduling that is the same phone number that I hadn’t gotten a call back from; b) I can’t really wait that long, because that means I can’t even submit the request until the point when my leave is supposed to be ending.

    She then told me that I should just visit my PCP and have them sign it instead. So I explained that unfortunately I do not have a PCP.

    So she said, all right, I might be able to set up an appointment with the surgical team to sign it sooner if that was what I needed. Of course no one was available at the time (which I didn’t *not* expect; it was a Sunday at a religious hospital, and I’m sure that most of the emergency surgery team tends to be busy doing emergency surgeries rather than sitting around to do paperwork.) She told me to CALL, DO NOT JUST SHOW UP at the surgical clinic on Monday morning. Perhaps their Friday had just gotten away from them, and they’d probably return my call on Monday anyway.

    I was still super easily exhausted at this point, and was tired and in pain and ready to be the fuck done. It also started snowing really hard and the roads got bad fast, so we headed home.

    (I then did not sleep at all well; partially due to my sleep schedule being janked to hell, but partially because I just stayed awake to worry about this shit.)

    Monday

    I called the surgery clinic. Got the same voicemail message DO NOT CALL MORE THAN ONCE, DO NOT LEAVE MULTIPLE MESSAGES, YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED BY END OF DAY.

    I was still just stupid tired at this point, but I turned the volume on my phone up so as to not miss the call back that I would SURELY be getting. I was still anxious about the whole thing, and couldn’t really drop off because I was afraid of missing them if they did call back.

    I did not get a call back.

    I figured I’d just go to the clinic’s suite number on Tuesday and try to get help in person, despite being told to call, not come in. Calling wasn’t working.

    I emailed my HR department, as they were asking if I was still planning to take this leave, or if I was going to use PTO. I let them know that I did want to take leave, just couldn’t get this damn form signed.

    I continued to not sleep because I was so damn worried.

    Tuesday

    At this point I also started to worry that the hospital wouldn’t approve a longer leave than through Wednesday. (Which would be day six post-release from the hospital. The original doctor I had spoken with told me that I was okay to return on Monday, but I do have Mondays and Tuesdays off. Monday had been day four, and I was NOT feeling capable of going to work. I was still having potentially embarrassing races to the bathroom, had functionally zero focus, was falling asleep at unpredictable times, still hadn’t succeeded in eating anything solid beyond a piece of toast soaked in soup…) But because that doctor had given me a return date of Monday, which was on my file, I was afraid that would be the maximum they would give me on the leave form as well. What I *wanted* to ask for was for two weeks post-discharge, so a return date of February 6th. I hoped this would feel like a better amount of time, as well as allowing me to get an all-clear from my follow-up… if I could get that scheduled.

    I was also extremely frustrated about not getting a call back, too.

    SO! Plan B!

    I didn’t have a PCP, but I had been *assigned* a PCP.

    I have the cheapest insurance possible through my job, which is United Healthcare’s “Navigate” plan. One of the main “features” of this plan is that they assign you to a PCP, and *all* care must be done through *that* PCP. They must write any referrals to other specialists or providers.

    I’d been assigned to the same guy for three years now, I just hadn’t ever gone to see him. So I had no PCP, but I was allegedly this guy’s patient. He was highly rated, and very close to where I live. So I figured maybe I’d just swing by his office; I could go in, and see if maybe I could schedule an appointment with him to do the surgical follow-up, or get a referral back to the clinic for that, and perhaps he’d be able to sign the paperwork (even if I did have to wait for that follow up appointment.)

    I verified that the office was open.

    We headed out, with a couple errands to run. We got to the office around 12:30.

    …Their hours are 9 - 12 on Monday - Thursday. They are “clossed” [sic] Friday - Sunday.

    12 hours per week???

    Ugh. So, I was frustrated, but figure okay. I’d try again on Wednesday, getting up a little earlier.

    Wednesday

    We headed out, closer to 10:00, to visit “my” PCP.

    The receptionist was… a bit cold. I tried to explain my situation, that this doctor was my assigned PCP, but I hadn’t ever established care. That I had emergency surgery and would need to do a follow-up…

    She cut me off with “Yeah, the problem is that he’s not taking new patients. I don’t know why insurance keeps assigning him, but you’ll have to find someone else.”

    She did suggest trying a clinic down the street that had multiple providers.

    I futilely protested that I’d been assigned to him for years, that the United Healthcare site even said he was accepting new patients, that I *can’t* go anywhere else if my insurance said he was the only one I was allowed to see…

    She just sort of shrugged and told me good luck.

    I headed out to the car and just… cried for a while. At this point I was just so fucking tired and defeated and frustrated. And still felt like shit! Everything still hurt, I was exhausted, I still wasn’t able to eat anything, and this was not what I wanted to be doing, and EVERYTHING just seemed to be as frustrating as it could be. I was not at my best, having to do the sort of thing I struggle with even when I’m NOT recovering from major surgery, and just… was not having a good time.

    After a bit, I went onto my insurance company’s website and was able to switch my PCP to the clinic that the receptionist had mentioned. You’re only allowed to switch once every 30 days, so that was a bit of a gamble, but it did allow me to pick the *clinic,* so as long as they had one provider that would see me, I hoped it would work out.

    At this point I was still crying every time I even sort of thought about the whole situation, and tried to get it together well enough to go to the other clinic.

    Eventually I held it together enough. The receptionist I talked to was very kind. She got me set up in their system, and told me they could definitely get me in within the week to do an intake appointment. She did tell me they’d have to do that and *then* schedule the surgery and paperwork appointments, which was fine.

    She told me there was actually a nurse who could see me later that afternoon if I’d come back.

    Yes, I would come back. I just wanted this done, and the promise of MAYBE finally having someone actually help me was at least a small bit of hope.

    Went back for my later appointment. The assistant who took my vitals reiterated that I’d have to make a separate surgical follow up and paperwork appointment. My blood pressure was somehow normal, though I am dismally dismayed by my weight.

    Finally the nurse came in to see me. She was quite young. But she started off with “So! Welcome to the ‘adult appendectomy’ club!”

    The relief I releft, lol.

    (She apparently dealt with hers for a *week* in nursing school, feeling like she was dying, before going to the hospital. She kept being told it was just stress, or just being a hypochondriac because of what she was studying! Then hers was almost the same as mine, having already perforated and abscessed by the time they went in to remove it.)

    She said she was concerned about my anxiety and depression screening questions… which ask about basically how miserable you’ve been for the last two weeks, which for me was almost entirely taken up by being cripplingly, painfully sick, then being in the hospital, then being stressed as hell about sorting out this leave and follow-up stuff. I had written “there are extenuating circumstances” at the bottom of the forms, lol. She was glad I didn’t think that was actually typical for me.

    As we chatted, even though it wasn’t supposed to be more than the intake, she asked how I was doing from the surgery, and she took a look at the incision sites. She told me to walk a lot more to help with the bloating (which is largely from the amount of air that gets pumped in when the surgery is done, and it’s just gotta work its way out.) Otherwise, everything looked good. While it was only 10 days (not 14) post-surgery, she said that everything really looked and sounded like it was healing on the normal timeline. She said that unless something changed, she didn’t think I needed to make another appointment for just a few more days out, and could treat this as my follow-up. However, if I was still struggling in another week or two to get back to a normal diet, then I should make another appointment.

    I asked her about the paperwork, and she said yes, I’d have to make another appointment for that. If I wanted to, I could even just drop the form off for her and make an appointment to pick it up.

    “I have the form with me, if you want me to leave it now?”

    “…Yeah, let me take a look. The only other thing I’ll need is your records from the hospital, which will take some time to get. But once we do, we can have this done by next week, I’m sure.”

    “Well… I have my hospital discharge paperwork, if that helps.”

    “…Let me see?”

    She took a look and said, “You know, this is enough. You’ve been nice to me, I remember how miserable the recovery was. I can just get this signed now, if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes. How long did you want?”

    I told her that I was really hoping for through the 5th, two weeks after my discharge.

    She said that seemed perfectly fair.

    I WAS SO RELIEVED. YOU DO NOT KNOW. NONE of this had been easy, and someone finally helped make something easy.

    (She actually ended up signing it through the 6th, though I’ll work a half day that day, just so I have a chance to get caught back up before being with the still brand new person for the weekend.)

    I’m not much of a “things work out the way they’re meant to” type… but when I did make another appointment to see this nurse sometime in March to do a regular physical (because I really should get some of the medical care that I’ve neglected for more than 15 years at this point), I was told she works every day except Tuesday. So if I HAD made it to the other doctor’s office the previous day, and they’d referred me to this clinic, this nurse I saw would not have been there.

    After, I went back to my mom’s to scan the document, so I could get it uploaded.

    At this point, I was exhausted. While I hadn’t been eating much anyway, I’d wound up being out of the house and not eating anything for about 8 hours, and I was wiped. I decided to work on the application the next day, because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t screw something up, as exhausted as I was.

    Thursday

    Time to try and finish the fucking application, a full week after I got out of the hospital, after having had to work on getting things nearly every damn day.

    …And it told me I needed that notarized attestation of identity document. I didn’t even get the chance to answer questions this time, it just had me take pictures of my ID and a selfie and said it couldn’t verify my identity, so I had to print off the attestation and get it notarized.

    So back to my mom’s to print and take it to a notary.

    Went to my credit union, only had to wait a few minutes. Got the form notarized, went back to my mom’s to scan it, uploaded it, and FINALLY FINISHED THE APPLICATION.

    Friday

    …Until Friday morning, when I woke up to automated texts and emails telling me that I had “important communication about my FAMLI leave.”

    According to them, there was a notary error on my attestation of identity: the notary’s printed name and her notary stamp name didn’t match. (She didn’t print her middle name. On the world’s smallest blank line that they provide for the name.)

    FUCK EVERYTHING FOREVER.

    BACK to the credit union, get the same notary. She said she’s NEVER had anything returned to her for that reason, and that the notary standards they claim were broken don’t actually say anything about that. She even showed me the state notary letter, which only talks about the standard being signature matching. She apologized and made sure to include her middle name.

    UGH WHATEVER.

    Went to fix it, and the upload process was unclear. The spot where it asks you to reupload only has a text box. Afraid of fucking it up, I called their help number. Was on hold for twenty minutes, but finally did get someone, who said yeah, he gets several calls about this per day. You have to enter something in the text box, and then it will allow you to move on to a second page that has a spot to upload the document.

    So I finally did that. By that point it was getting near the end of the day, so I didn’t expect there’d be a chance to have anyone look at it again until Monday.

    Saturday and Sunday I ignored all of this entirely.


    Monday (today):

    I didn’t hear anything new from the FAMLI agency. I let my manager know my return date. I let my HR department know that I had submitted the leave application.

    My HR rep let me know that I will probably get a denial letter from them at some point, but that it’s not legitimate; everyone has been getting them, and it has to do with the fact we switched from a private insurer to the state system, and they really just need extra info from the company.

    So I’m waiting for that.

    THIS HAS BEEN SO FRUSTRATING.

    I’m relieved that I’ve basically done as much as I can at this point, and that my return date is Friday for just a half day. I hope to get as much rest as I can the next couple of days before I have to go back.

    I’m still hurting, but it’s mostly just achey and bruised feeling, nothing sharp or concerning. I’m mostly meeting with success in reintroducing foods, though my appetite is a bit unpredictable. Guts are still not right, but seem to be improving slowly. Going on more walks does seem to be helping, and at least we've had a couple pretty nice days. I’m still very tired basically all the time, which is annoying, but I’m trying to push through.

    (I’m also still SO BEHIND ON EVERYTHING. I’m trying to get caught up, but even minor things wear me out and take three times as long as I think they should. I promise, I’m trying to get caught up! I will!)

    Wildlife

    Feb. 3rd, 2026 12:06 am
    ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
    [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
    Hundreds of new species found in a hidden world beneath the Pacific

    As demand for critical metals grows, scientists have taken a rare, close look at life on the deep Pacific seabed where mining may soon begin. Over five years and 160 days at sea, researchers documented nearly 800 species, many previously unknown. Test mining reduced animal abundance and diversity significantly, though the overall impact was smaller than expected. The study offers vital clues for how future mining could reshape one of the planet’s most fragile ecosystems.


    Bluntly put, mining would destroy that very delicate ecosystem, and it would not recover. Also the ocean as a whole is struggling to cope with the damage humanity has already caused, and hasn't got the fault tolerance left to cover more.

    Holiday Poetry Sale

    Feb. 2nd, 2026 11:06 pm
    ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
    [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
    With today's posts, all sponsored poems from the 2025 Holiday Poetry Sale have been posted.  You can now check the sale page for title links to see if you missed any earlier.
    ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
    [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
    This poem came out of the January 7, 2025 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] helgatwb. It also fills the "Plunging Hoofs" square in my 1-1-25 card for the Public Domain Day Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by a pool with [personal profile] fuzzyred.


    "To the Beat of Plunging Hooves"
    -- an indriso


    History is often late
    To record what's done or said
    By the needful, not the great.

    Soleated, harnessed, led
    Horses drive the wheels of fate
    From behind or by the head.

    History, like mountains, moves

    To the beat of plunging hooves.

    (no subject)

    Feb. 2nd, 2026 08:31 pm
    olivermoss: (Default)
    [personal profile] olivermoss
    * A former Leafs forward who is now playing for a team in Scotland was injured after not doing warm ups to avoid wearing a pride jersey.

    The team was originally going to wear the jerseys during the game but dropped that last minute due to 'player beliefs'.

    The club is facing massive backlash over caving to homophobe. And now that homophobe's hockey career might be over due to injury over refusing to do warm ups.

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